Trying to describe memories

toes sifted through the grass and

I am wearing a thin cloud

wrapped only by fate into the life that didn't come from the sky or the earth

or my heart.

This makes me only separate.

I really wanted to touch each petal of those flowers,
but I just couldn't bear to know
what their lives hadn't been.
so I cup the wind into my hands
and it forms the thinnest glass
my mind swirls inside there, with

a haunting reverberation

(I always come back to it, it is so beautiful and clear)

(It makes me want to cry sometimes, the one cry
I don't know how to smile or to despair with)

a kiss so missed like a warm ray of light

of arms flung out and freedom earned

of strong legs and beating, beating, soaring

of falls and deaths

that didn't turn out to be death at all.

my face turns to smile

at the friends and sounds that i imagine are with me

and then the cloud leaves me there

vulnerable and proud, the wind

trembling along with me

still cradled in my palms.

we are left alone.